When Saying No Is Polite (and best for your sanity!)

Some of us cannot stop themselves from agreeing to every request for help. When we say yes all the time, we can tax ourselves beyond what we can bear. We may even end up resenting people we help. But, most importantly we may miss the "yes" opportunities that really matter like spending time with family over helping with one more bake sale for the community center. I am going to school full time and also working full time and helping out with another side business when I can. I am taxed to the max professionally and it certainly effects my relationships with my family and friends. I have said no to a lot of opportunities but most of the time I have gotten it wrong and said yes to way too many things I probably should have turned down for my own health and sanity and out of respect for my relationships with those that really matter. So what are things we can do to help ourselves say no? 1) Remove the guilt. Do not think you are not a good friend or a good person because you turn down someone. Let them know you care about them but that the timing for you is not convenient based on other obligations. Sometimes this one is the hardest for me to do and I usually cave here... 2) Rehearse saying no ahead of time so you won't cave in at the last minute or waffle about whether you will help or not. 3) If the request for help is spur of the moment, do not immediately respond. "I'll think about that and get back with you" is always appropriate. It also gives you time to process and check with family and on your other obligations to make sure you are availabe. 4) Time is also a friend in this circumstance - delaying an answer raises the possibility of no. But be mindful that this may leave others in a quandry to find replacement help if you have given the impression you may be available. 5) Don't blurt out the "no." Soften your voice so the no comes across as sincere and does not hurt the feelings of the other person. But if you do say yes, by all means do it. Let your yes be a yes and your no be a no - do not be in between. Those are the people everyone else will resent for being a waffler and someone you cannot count on. To "no" more times this week! Marty

Getting LinkedIn Right

If you are a professional, get signed up with LinkedIn. Recruiters are much more likely to give you an initial call ball if they can look you up and verify some of your work history and see what others may be saying about you. LinkedIn takes time to build so its important to start this process sooner rather than later. Here are a few tips to making it work for you: 1) Use a great photo. It should be less than five years old from the shoulders up, dressed professionally, and SMILING! Do not use a selfie or personal photo. It seems unprofessional and like you are more into socializing than business. 2) List every position. A profile that lists more than one job will get you looked at more closely and it will show your skill set. Who knows? Your prior work may have some interesting experience to a prospective employer. Plus LinkedIn can be a great supplement to your 1-2 page resume where you are somewhat constrained on space. 3) Upload Projects. Share your recent presentations on poignant topics and let your work do the advertising for you! 4) Seek "Endorsements". You can ask clients or bosses to highlight specific skills that you want noticed and importantly, that you would like to continue doing. For example, if you are a jack of all trades at your job but really want to focus on HR, then have your boss highlight how you helped successfully revise the employee handbook or dealt with co-worker conflict.

Real Reasons You Get Hired (Part II)

While your resume may be stellar, it is important to remember that your resume alone will not be why a company hires you. Remember there are a lot of smart, talented folks with similar experience. Make yourself stand out! So for your interviews consider the following: 1) You've Done Your Homework Do not walk into an interview without really knowing about the company. We all can "google" it and we should. When you walk and don't know most all publicly available info on a company, you are wasting the interviewers time and yours. Further, you seem to have hubris - like you deserve the job whether you know anything about it or not. I interviewed countless potential hires for one of my former companies where they said they were interested in working in California or New York - the company did not even have offices there!!! Get that stuff right or you will be summarily marked off the list. 2) Show You Can Think On Your Feet Some trash on the floor in the office as you walk through? Pick it up and throw it away. That shows you are conscientious and don't pass by problems. The drink spills over at the interview? Walk out and ask about towel and stay calm. Show you can handle any situation. 3) Ask for the Job If you liked your interview experience and you believe the company is a fit for you, ask for the job. Do not leave the interview and just hope for the best. Say thank you for the interview, I really want this job and would love the opportunity to work with you. That will go a long way to ensuring you are at the top of the list!

Real Reasons You Get Hired (Part I)

While your resume may be stellar, it is important to remember that your resume alone will not be why a company hires you. Remember there are a lot of smart, talented folks with similar experience. Make yourself stand out! So for your interviews consider the following: 1) Look Pulled Together About clothes: they matter. Dress for the part you aspire to be - not just the job you are interviewing for. Do not wear anything casual like miniskirts or tube tops. Get something that fits you well and that you are comfortable in. Also be prepared for anything on interview day. Raining outside, bring your umbrella. Hot, get there early so you can cool down and look calmed for your interview. Pulled together will say you want this job, no matter what. 2) Be Into Something Be a human!!! Your answer to every question should not be that you enjoy spending hours plugging away at a desk and just want to be a great worker. Yawn! I don't want to hang out with you 12 hours a day. I want to know people who have a passion for other things like golfing, gardening, stamp collecting - anything! Play sports? Mention that too. Group sports show you can work well with a team and deal well with pressure. Its these intangibles that often have the greatest appeal. 3) Don't talk Poorly About Current Employer Even if your current boss is horrible, do not throw her under the bus at your interview. Make it a positive. You have learned from current job and are ready to move on to a new opportunity. Leave it at that. You will come off as a positive worker and everyone wants to find positive folks to work with.

To Being Forever Young - Fashion and MakeUp Mistakes That Age Us!

I loved this article (By Health.com). It is a great reminder that it is really ok to be our age and give us tips to look great at any age!!

Networking 101 - Reward Your Power Contacts

The ability to network successfully can be one of the greatest assets in business. It allows some people to find incredible opportunities, while others just watch from the sidelines. Effective networking isn't a result of luck -- it requires hard work and persistence. What does it take to be a super networker? Reward your 'power' contacts. Keep a list of your top five to 10 networking partners and do something each week to add value to one person's life or business. You might send them a book or set up a lunch to introduce them to one of your other contacts. This habit can help you be proactive about staying in touch with your most powerful contacts. Just as with fitness or investing, the most successful people are the ones who choose to be consistent in their actions. (excerpt from Lewis Howes/Nov. 2012).