Spa Etiquette for the Customers

Most everyone goes to a spa to relax. But there are many people that can ruin that relaxation experience. Don't be one of those people. Here are some good examples of what not to do: 1) when you are in the steam room, don't talk or at a minimum keep your voice very low. I recently went to steam room and I overheard the entire, very loud conversation of two other fellow steamers. It is distracting and your life is never that interesting to other people, particularly people who are trying to forget all the things outside the steam room. 2) Tranquility room - observe it! During my most recent spa trip, the waiting room was full so I went into the "tranquility room" to relax before my appointment. It was quiet for 5 minutes when two women walked in and proceeded to talk all about their husbands - none of their comments were very tranquil... You should not talk at all in the tranquility room. If you need to talk go in a public waiting room or other area but this is not the place for it. 3) Make sure you put everything back in its place. Spas sometimes offer nice amenities like hair dryers or brushes. I have frequently seen people leave them in their locker or in the place where they used them - not back in their holders. Clean off the tools you use and put them back in their place so everyone can enjoy it. 4) Be careful not to wear too much perfume in spas. You all are in steam rooms or hot tubs and sometimes perfumes can get really rancid when mixed with steam heat. Use the showers first before you mix eau du parfume with eau du sweat! To relaxing spa days for all! Marty Thompson Manners Pro www.mannerpro.com.

Being a Good Host

How do you get through the holiday parties you are hosting? 1) Relax and enjoy your party. When a host is tense, it makes the party tense. So get the help you need from kids or other friends/family to allow the planning not to take the fun out of the party. 2) Do a run-through before party day. Get out our the cups, plates, napkins, etc. Do the decorations early. Put extra ice in the freezer. When you do these it lessens the stress of party day. 3) When you introduce people, offer more than just names. Hosting means introducing your guests. Give guests a name but then tell the group how you know each other. That will spark conversations with guests so they can keep the conversations going while you host. 4) Say farewell with a snack (some may have a long drive home). I have mentioned I love parting gifts so a cookie bag or something for the way home is a great post party treat. Happy hosting! Marty Thompson Vice-President Manners Pro www.mannerspro.com

Being a Good Guest

Etiquette Rules Don't Take A Break From The Season! So here are a few pointers on how to be a good guest when going to all your holiday events. 1) For Pete's sake (or your host's), RSVP. 2) Don't arrive empty handed. 3) Talk to people you don't know. Make the party a party! 4) To start a conversation, give a compliment. Everyone likes to talk about themselves and it's an easy way to get to know a new person. 5) Ask questions. Where are you from, where did you go to school, etc. keep the conversation rolling and give you great insights. 6) Watch yourself with the drinks. Nobody wants to be the guest everyone talks about after the party so know when to say when. 7) Offer to be a helper. You will be sure to be invited back when you offer to give a hand to your host. 8) Follow up with a written thank-you. To having great parties! Marty

Tips to Work the Room Like a Pro!

What are the best ways to work the room? First ask yourself this question - why are you there? Is it a professional event, a friend's birthday, a reunion? The answer to this question will guide how you put these next tips into practice. 1) When you arrive at the event, get your bearings. Look around the room, look for the host, look for those you know, look for the bar. Then make your move. You can always go greet the host. You can also go to a friend/colleague you know well just to start conversation. If you don't see someone you know, go to the bar. Inevitably there is a line there and you can find someone to speak with. 2) But, do not stay at the bar or buffet for long! You are not at parties to eat or drink. You go to honor someone, meet someone, fulfill work obligations, etc. Do those things - not stuff yourself on bad quiche bites. 3) So go introduce yourself! If you do not know anyone at the event, walk up to a group that looks like it is having a good time and say, "Hi, my name is ____. Your group looked like it was having such a good time I thought I'd like to join." The group will pull you right in and in no time you will be making new connections. 4) Don't stay in the same group too long! It is important to keep moving throughout the party. While it may be comfortable to stay with one group the whole night, you should not. Stay a reasonable amount of time to get to know people, but do break that conversation to make a move to a new group. This will broaden your circle and make the most of the event. 5) In all the groups, have meaningful conversations. People like talking about themselves, so open ended questions that allow people to discuss themselves will always keep the conversation going. Think of "how" questions. Those make for easy open ended questions like "how do you know the host?, how did you hear about this event?, how do you plan to spend the holidays?, etc. The answer to these questions is usually a lenghty one that you can build a conversation on if you are listening! Party on! Marty

Special Tips for the Holidays

The end of the year presents a great time to give something extra to the people who help you throughout the year. Think of people like your housekeeper, nanny, dog walker, hair dresser, etc. The general rule I follow is to tip the amount it costs for one service. For example, if your housekeeper charges $60 for each cleaning, then give an extra $60 around the holidays the next time your housekeeper cleans. Some companies may not allow tipping, so a small token of your appreciation as a gift ($20 or under) would usually be appropriate. Here is to letting those important to you know it!

Deciphering the Dress Code for the Party

What does "Creative Black Tie", "Festive Attire", and "Cocktail Chic" mean? Invitations these days are getting more creative with labeling the "attire" required for the event. Invitations are getting so creative, it can be confusing for guests to know what to wear. Here are a few new dress codes that we will try to decipher for you. 1) Festive Attire - this calls for fun, less formal dress but does not mean casual blue jeans and tshirt. Go for a fun dress with a little sparkle. You can also go for bolder jewelry. Men - pull out those flashy bow ties and socks and have fun, but keep it polished. 2) Cocktail Chic - means the same thing as cocktail attire. For women that usually means a knee length and shorter dress (but not too short!). This is more sophisticated than "festive" attire. Think of a traditional cocktail dress and add some good jewelry and a clutch. Men - wear a suit and tie to these events, but not a tux. 3) Creative Black Tie - consider this a little less serious than black tie. Black tie generally requires women to wear a floor length dress and men to wear a tux. But "creative" allows for some flare to be added. Women can choose a bold color dress and accessories. Men can have fun with their tie colors and even tux colors! Here's to wearing a perfect outfit at your next event! Marty

Give Your Events a Professional Polish Without a Big Bill

Parties and events may be a daunting task. Making them look professinal may be a further struggle. Here are few points that will help you keep your events polished and professional without using a huge budget: 1) Send professional electronic invites - Evite is nice but places like and have what I have found to be the best formats to put together a great invite. Some of these sites are free and some have a minimal charge per invite. All sites are definitely cheaper than a mailed invite (although my grandmother would have said not nearly as nice if you can do it). 2) You can dress up common food items to make them a little fancier. For example, cut your pizza into small squares rather than slices. Other ways to make food look better is the how it is laid out and the serving pieces you use. While serving pieces may be expensive, it may be a good idea to invest in some nice pieces that you can use over and over again. Pretzels have never looked so attractive! 3) Offer a singular, "signature" drink - one drink keeps you from having to buy all kinds of mixers and different varieties to fit everyone's taste. Additionally, a signature drink (some fruity, non-alcoholic base drink in a punch bowl) mixed with a sparkling wine can make a great offering for both younger and older guests simple and not break your bank! 4) Create a play list to make the event feel professional - use spotify to get together your playlist together. Mood music can make the night. Make sure toe keep the volume at a level that does not overpower the conversations. 5) Get a server to help with the event. I know this may seem like it will break a bank but it will not. Generally, you can get a server for 4 hours for about $100. Additionally, you may be able to get free help at local universities who have hotel management programs - often those schools give students credit for doing events! The best part of this help is that you can enjoy your party and attend to other guest needs besides making sure their cup is full. Polished Party Perfection! Marty Thompson

Host/Hostess Gifts - Two Ways

FOR THE HOST/HOSTESS I think it is always appropriate to bring a host/hostess gift. The cruelty joke is when you expect the host or hostess to use that gift the day you bring it. Here is what I mean - you bring some cute napkins or candle as a thank you and you say something like "Do you want me to open those for you?" Do not presume that what you bought will be used for this party. It throws the host or hostess off their game plan. What you brought may not go with the rest of event's decor, food, or theme. Short answer - get something but don't expect it to be used immediately. A great gift I like to give is cocktail markers by Le Marqueur - (two for just $5.99). They wipe off glasses with cooking oil and allow everyone to keep track of their wine! And if they get used the night of the party - great - but if not, no problem! FROM THE HOST/HOSTESS I have been to a few parties where the host or hostess gives a gift at the end of the night. You know you used to do this as a child where all the kids at the birthday party would take home a goodie bag after the party? We have lost that as adults and I must admit I have not always added this to my party planning list. But how thoughtful it is to send your guests home with a parting gift? Something like a wine stopper or small bag of chocolates? I like Favor Warehouse . They have great products you can personalize and have ready for every party! I found their pricing is competitive and they have a great selection to fit any theme. A parting gift from the host/hostess is a great way to leave your guests feeling special on their way home and remembering your kindess when they use the favor! To presents for all! Marty Thompson

Workplace Gift Exchanges

It is always difficult to know what you should get co-workers but here are a few good points to consider when doing gift exchanges at the workplace: 1) You don't need to get a gift for your boss. If you want to make some homemade item like your famous cookies, feel free. But don't get your boss an elaborate present. That looks like you are trying a little too hard. 2) If you get something for co-workers, either get something for everyone or give your gifts to close friends off site. It makes others feel uncomfortable if one gets a gift from you and the others do not. 3) If you have a company event like a white elephant exchange, the dollar amount alloted should be low - likely $10 or less, so that everyone feels they can partcipate. Also everyone should strictly stick to the dollar rule limit. 4) If you are a boss, consider giving something to all your employees. It shows you appreciate their hard work. It does not have to be a big gift - but just a token that shows they are important to you. Importantly, what you give should not be work logo material - that's marketing - not a gift. 5) Something home-made from the heart like spced nuts, cookies, or fudge is always welcome and appropriate at the office. Such presents are also likely the cheapest way to get everyone a gift. Break up your batches in these cute treat boxes (I like these from Amazon.com - they are cheap, festive, and just the right size) http://www.amazon.com/16-Pk-Treat-Boxes-styles/dp/B00GA6IP8C/ref=sr_1_29?s=hpc&ie=UTF8&qid=1387208053&sr=1-29 Here's to hoping you get the best White Elephant Gift of them all! Marty Thompson

Proper Introductions for Yourself and Others

Proper Introductions Few people will take offense if you make an error in everyday introductions. In most circumstances, one basic guideline will see you through: Say the name of the most important person first. • A younger person is introduced to an older person. (Aunt Ruth, I want you to meet my roommate, Mimi Jackson. Mimi, this is my aunt, Mrs. Cox.”) • A person of high rank or special prominence is named first and receives the introduction. (“Bishop Gordon, may I present my husband, John?”) A Savvy employee will make a special effort to name bosses and supervisors first when introducing them to anyone of lower rank. (“Mrs. Gentry, I’d like you to meet Ralph Clayburgh, who just came o n board as an associate account manager. Ralph, this is Ms. Gentry, our director of research and development.”) • When introducing others to family members, the other person’s name is generally said first (“Raul, I’d like you to meet my brother, Carl Michaud”) if the people being introduced are of roughly the same age and rank. But as a sign of respect, an older family member is named first (“Gran, I’d like to introduce Mr. Jonathan Fox. Jonathon, this is my grandmother, Mrs. Josephson”). • Traditionally in social situations, men are introduced to women. (“Mrs. Barrett, I’d like to introduce Mr. Hirsch.”) How to Introduce Yourself There are many times when you will know no one in the group and you have to introduce yourself to others. Stand, smile, make eye contact with one person, greet and reach out hand. Say “Hello, I am ____________.” Making an Introduction can be hard – but it helps if you can look confident!

Five Introduction Goofs to Avoid

Most introduction mistakes are the result of normal-and forgivable-memory lapses or nervousness. But the foul-ups below result primarily from insensitivity and tactlessness. Don’t: 1) Look Away. People who look over shoulders and around the room while involved in introductions are saying in every way that they don’t really care very much. 2) Make too-personal comments. Divorces, bereavements, job losses, illnesses, rehab history, and the like are not fit subjects to raise in the course of social and business introductions. Ask about family, not spouse. 3) Interrupt. When people are engaged in serious conversation or obviously occupied, don’t break in to introduce someone else. Wait for a more convenient moment. 4) Defer to one person at the expense of the other. Be sure that both parties are included in any conversation that follows a polite introduction. 5) Gush. Most people are embarrassed by overly enthusiastic introductions. A note to would-be matchmakers: While you may think that two eligible people would be perfect couple, avoid exaggerated praise when you introduce them. Flattery is a sign of insincerity.

Perfect Table Settings for Your Holiday Parties

Here are two great pictures to help you set the perfect table for your upcoming parties. These are also great to use to teach the kids which fork or glass is theirs if they go to these parties with you. The easiest reminder to me is bring both index fingers to the thumbs. That makes a "b" and a "d" so you can always know which plate is your "b" bread plate and "d" drink glass. Enjoy! And here's to not doing the glass pass because someone picked up the wrong one! Happy dining! Marty

Connectors

Now is a great time to be a connector for people. Everyone is having parties. But some friends may be without jobs or transitioning.  The holidays give a great opportunity to help get those friends networking. If appropriate with your host, invite those friends out to your holiday parties. Your church, your charities, and other friends will all be hosting parties now and it's usually ok with a host for you to bring a +1. Make sure you introduce them to new people and tell them about people who may be there so your friends can do some mingling on their own.  These new connections may be the best gift you give these friends. 

Get jolly and get connecting!!

Marty

Party Tips for the Holidays (or any days)

Now is the time of holiday parties galore!! Here are a few tips when attending these events. 1) Don't be late. There is no excuse and your hosts have worked very hard at preparing a wonderful meal. 2) Bring the hosts a gift such as a bottle of wine, flowers and/or fine chocolates. Don't bring a gift that you expect them to use at the meal or event that night. The host knows his or her plan for the evening, so don't expect your gift to be fit into that. 3) If you've offered to bring a dessert, bring dessert, not cranberry chutney as a surprise. That throws off the aforementioned plan. 4) Don't get a second helping until everyone has been served. 5) Always offer to help in the kitchen with prep work, clean up and wash dishes. 6) Turn off your cellphone. 7) Give thanks and if appropriate, toast your hosts. A great website for ideas on great toasts is http://toastsbook.com. Happy Holidays! And here's to some great parties along the way! Marty

Meetings - Host's Duties

When conducting a meeting, it is important for the host to get the time, place and agenda set. This means that you ensure the timing works for all necessary attendees and you have prepared an adequate space and time for the meeting. Further, it is important for the host to explain the purpose of the meeting. Do not just call a meeting without giving details of what will be expected of attendees (in terms of contribution or preparation). Further, have an agenda for your meeting that you will follow and, if possible, give to everyone ahead of time. Keep the meetings start and ending time (i.e. don't let your meeting drag on - folks are busy and need to get to other tasks). Further, keep the meeting agenda items - only discuss what you came there to discuss. Otherwise, people will not be as prepared and this can cause meetings to overrun their allotted time. Finally, the host should have someone keep a detailed record of meeting and task lists for items after the meeting. That way all will know what is to be accomplished after they leave the meeting. These few points will help make for effective and efficient meetings - so you you and those you work with can get back to the actual doing! Wishing you all brief but productive meetings! Marty Thompson PS Check out my favorite picture at www.despair.com (these guys are genius) that sums up most meetings - may this never happen to you! http://demotivators.despair.com/demotivational/meetingsdemotivator.jpg

Travel - Noises

You have all sat next to someone on a plane or train who has their headphones on so loudly you can sing along with them. You have also sat next to the person that is playing a video game on their phone or Ipad but keeps the volume on so you can hear every gun blast. This message is to all - please please please be cognizant of your own noises from your phones, music, games, and computers. What you hear as white noise can be very disturbing to other passengers. Additionally, keep your own volume to a minimum. I am a loud talker but on planes or trains I try to keep my voice down if talking to my neighbor. I recently had a flight where I could recite the entire conversation between two people a row and an aisle away from me. That's too loud! Know your voice and if your friend does not know his or her own voice - help him and try to keep the talking low (people will often mimic what their partner does or you could politely say I see that man is trying to sleep over there, I think we should try to keep it down). The whole plane will thank you for it! Also I must give a recent kudos to a United flight attendant. She was kind enough to ask a gentleman to turn off the noises from his video game. Not all attendants do that but I really appreciated her effort. Keep it up please for the rest of the plane's sake! To quiet travels, Marty Thompson

Holiday Travel - Timing

Now is the season for holiday travel. That means a lot of opportunities for things to get a little hairy, particularly when bad weather slows down air travel. One of the most important things I have found to help at lease keep me up to the minute in air travel is United's travel updates that they can send by text or by email (www.united.com for details). They are very helpful to let me know the status of my flights. Amtrak also does a nice job of alerting me to train delays (www.amtrak.com) Why does this matter for travel etiquette? It's important not to be late to events where your host has spent a lot of time preparing their home and often big meals for us. We want to be as courteous as possible to those that are graciously hosting us and alert them as soon as we can to delays. Additionally, these little website tricks will help you stay away from the ticket counters that are often filled with folks that really are facing some travel crisis. When I get the alerts I am much more calm about the travel and generally have a better disposition when I get my coffee from the Starbucks barista - and everyone appreciates that! Wishing you a fantastic holiday season and may your planes, trains, and automobiles be on time!