Eleanor Roosevelt on Manners

"What we need in the world is manners...I think that if, instead of preaching brotherly love, we preached good manners, we might get a little further. It sounds less righteos and more practical." I could not agree more. Thank you Mrs. Roosevelt.

Finishing School Short Course - Correspondence

This month we will give quick tips for a polished and professional image in any social or business situation. You don't need finishing school to learn these things - just a few reminders will get you far. Correspondence 1) Email Response - Try to respond within 24 hours. 2) Expressing Gratitude - When you receive a gift or a favor, send a handwrtten thank you note. It only needs to be a few sentences. Completely a a loss, use small stationery and write one sentence - I really appreciate.... Incude a warm greeting and a sign off. Mail the note as soon as you can (2 weeks at latest). 3) Business Thank You - After a job interview, send an immediate email of thanks and mention a note is in the mail. The note is more tactile, visual and emotional so it is worth the time. HR groups may interpret this as a demonstration of strong interpersonal skills. Also send a handwritten note if someone gives you a letter of recommendation. 4) Email Greetings and Sign Offs - I think it is important to have you name and phone and email on any email signature throughout the correspondence. I know it makes some email chains seem longer but it allows people to quickly find your phone number if they want to call you on the matter. Having to look you up is an inconvenience for them. Pay attention to signature boxes - it lets people know how you would like to be called, whether by full name or nickname. 5) Reply All - Click when the group needs addressing, but otherwise spare everyone else on the list. 6) Bcc on Emails - Use bcc only to maintain the privacy of addreses in group email,not as a sneaky one way mirror to conversation. If you want someone else to see what you wrote then forward it to them after it is sent.

Finishing School Short Course - Networking

This month we are doing a quick overview on a variety of topics to help you get through any social situation. Networking 1) Mingling - getting it right is hard to do if you don't have practice. To join a new conversation at an event, catch someone's eye, smile and enter the clique on a break. If you see someone who wants to participate in your group, pull her in when there's a lull. 2) Switching Groups - Instaed of saying "Excuse me I have to go to the bathroom", try "It's been so nice talking with you, please excuse me." There is nothing wrong about going to a new group at a party, it's why you are there - to socialize! 3) Connecting People - Introduce the parties andexplain what they have in common. Then say, I am going to leave you two to discuss. I will follow up with you both later."

Finishing School Short Course - Manners for Parties

This month we are giving you a quick finishing school short course on a variety of topics. Today's topic is manners for parties. 1) RSVP'ing - always do it and do it timely, whether yes or no. It's just polite to help your host plan. 2) Bringing Others - Whoever is on the invite is invited. If your baby is not on the invite, baby is not invited. If the invite says "Name and Family" bring everyone along. "Name and Guest" on the invite then your +1 is invited. 3) Special Food Needs - For really large parties, you should be prepared to be on your own. Don't mention your dietary needs to your host. For small dinner parties, let the host know as soon as possible and offer to bring a dish. 4) Arrival Time - for dinner party, show up 10 to 15 minutes after scheduled time. NEVER NEVER show up early because the host may not be ready. Any later than 15 minutes late, you should let the host know. 5) Saying Good-Bye - If there are fewer than a dozen people in attendance, that is your cue to move on. Say good-bye to the host and if there are more than that you can slip out and send a note that says thank you so much for a great party. 6) Leaving Promptly - do not be the last guest at a party unless you are a very close friend. The evening is over when these things happen - music is off, lights are on, server has been dismissed, and food is getting cleaned up. 7) Kicking Out Guests - If it is getting late, it is ok to let guests know you have an early morning and say you have to start cleaning. If you need to be more blunt, you can say thank you for staying until the end, I had such a good time with you, but I am going to have to turn in now.

Finishing School Short Course - Table Manners

This month we will give quick tips for a polished and professional image in any social or business situation. You don't need finishing school to learn these things - just a few reminders will get you far. Table Manners 1) Elbow placement - Elbows on table are ok if not eating. But don't use your elbow as a fulcrum for bringing food to your mouth. Wrists on the table are always ok. 2) Using the right fork for each course - Work from the outside in - salad to dessert fork. 3) Using the right bread plate - Reminder "BMW". Bread plate is on your left, Meal plate is in the middle, Water glass is on the right. 4) Digging In - Wait until everyone is served or the host gives the green light before you dig in. If its a large buffet style serving, you can eat when you get your food. If it is a preset event, wait until the hosts gives the cue. 5) Passing Food - First time around the tabel pass the food counterclockwise so the right hand is free for serving. Always pass both salt and pepper together even if asked for only one. 6) Reaching - If you can get the item near without a full arm extension, do it. Otherwise ask to have it passed. 7) Leaving the table - ask to excuse yourself (sans details - like I need to go to the bathroom - no one needs to know that). Leave your napkin to the left of your plate, not on your seat.

Owning It - Part 2

We have a few more tips to take on stressful situations with poise and grace. Thinking you can do it is half the battle - and I promise you can! 1) Dinner Party Explosion - Your dinner party for 4 turned into a dinner party for 8 at the last minute. What do you do? Adding pasta or rice to any protein that you may have planned to eat will add plenty of heft to make the meal work for the bigger group. Also dessert is easy enough - add a pint of ice cream and split up the planned cake in smaller portions. You can also ask for help. Letting someone bring a bigger salad or additional bottle of wine will ease your stress and make the party a breeze. 2) Applied for a job not quite qualified for - but you want it really badly! Everyone knows the climb the corporate ladder you need to skip a few rungs. Do not fret over holes in your resume. Employers will skip over qualified applicants for one that is really hungry for the job and shares a sense of enthusiasm. To make this believable you need to research the job and the company thoroughly and be prepared with specific business plans to show you will be ready on day one to learn and get things done. Still not getting the job? Find the company you want to work for and write a letter to the person you want to work for with your resume. Let them know you are eager even if they have no openings. Eagerness is hard to ignore so there is a good chance you will be the first call when something opens up.

Owning It - Part 1

Whether you are braving a party solo or chasing your dream job, attitude is half the battle. Thinking you have what it takes to get it done will go a long way to that actually happening. Here are some tips to handling those next stressful situations you face. 1 - Socializing solo - all dressed up and no one you know at the party. Do not stress about it. Shine! Walk up to a group of guest who look like they are having a good time and introduce yourself. Say you look like you were having a such a good time I would love to join you. People are generally nice. You will not get turned away. Ask how people know the host or hostess. That gives good starter to conversation and helps give you context to keep the conversation going. Also being up to date on current events is a great way to ensure no lulls through the night. Everyone likes to talk about their own city and what happening there. Keep it light but interesting with local sports or school activities or events coming to town. You will find you can have a great time not having known a soul at the start. 2 - Work Presentation - You planned for the power point deck edits and have an idea about what you are going to say but you went out last night and did not do all the final planning you wanted to. How do you come off professional and polished? Nervous people tend to talk too long and usually do not make sense. Audiences only retain so much so rambling has a negative effect. Plan the pithy parts that you need and keep it under your allotted time. Leave time for question and answer. Also allow for audience participation. The most important thing is to convey comfort not fear - smile, laugh, breathe - you will own the room.