What do "good manners" really mean and how do we practice them?

At Manners Pro, we like to say that manners are the nice way of doing things. Good manners help others feel more comfortable and know what to expect next. To that end, in the business world, home world or school world, how can we best practice good manners in a proactive way? It is not just opening doors for others; it is a mindset about how we approach relationships that will really help us practice good manners. Consider the following: 1. Understand the power of your words. How different could our relationships look if we committed to saying positive things like “thank you” and “great job” more often? I submit those relationships would be much more positive. Our words carry more weight than we know. Our words can speak positivity into the people around us if we’re willing to run them through a filter of consideration for others first - which is the very definition of having good manners. This doesn’t mean that we have to sugarcoat everything or shy away from the truth. It simply means we should be slow to critique and quick to compliment and encourage others. 2. Commit to helping others succeed. If you are successful in life, then good for you. But if those around you are successful, that will define the legacy you leave and how others think of you. Our friends, coworkers, spouses and kids won’t remember us for what we accomplish, but instead for what we helped them to accomplish and how we encouraged them on along the way. If you are sincerely committed to helping others around you reach their goals, you will be the person people regard as having great matters and the most consideration for others.

Thoughts on Good Leadership (Part III)

How do you get slackers to chip in? The initial reaction is to think what is their problem? But really we should ask is everything ok? Often people check out for a reason, home struggles, parent illness, etc. If someone is riding coattails, check on them and then assign them a task where others will be impacted so they invest in it too. No one wants to let a group down. Have them do a specific task you can monitor and followup with them, on both their task and any personal problems. They will be motivated to help out when you show you care. How do you encourage creative thinking? When you can, start a project with a brainstorming session where people can speak freely. There should be no such thing as a lousy idea - keep a log and keep building. Suggestions are seeds of thought that a group can work together to nurture the good seeds.

Thoughts on Good Leadership (Part II)

What is the best way to step up in a leadership position when there is no clear leader? When you are in a group where there is no clear leader, the easiest way to help steer the group is to say "I am happy to ensure that everything goes smoothly. I want everyone here to have what they need to make things happen. That tone says I am here to serve and give and that will allow you to naturally find yourself in a leadership position. An effective leader cares most about everyone doing their best to get the job done well, even if that means taking a supporting role. Once you're in command, how to gain trust of team members? Give them a lot of independence but check in on each person periodically, in other words, let people succeed and let them fail while providing training and guidance. When a new project needs to be launched put someone in charge of it. If the project succeeds let the person know what a great job they did and if it fails don't get mad, work with them to rectify it. From Simon Sinek, author of Leaders Eat Last.

Thoughts on Good Leadership (Part I)

What attribute does a leader need most? See yourself as teh protector of those in your group. A good boss will make sure that her employees have all the tools they need to do their job. Public acknowledgement of hard work will make people feel appreciated and safe. If people feel unsafe or that their leader is trying to take advantage of them they will concentrate on protecting themselves and as a result focus less on the task at hand. What is a common mistake leaders make? Thinking you have to have all the answers. No one knows everything a good leader is comfortable with that. Instead be grateful to be surrounded by people that can help you figure things out. Also when things are not done perfectly, good leaders don't get angry. They are not afraid to discuss how to adapt for the future. From Simon Sinek - Leaders Eat Last.