Food Finesse - How do I eat that food?

Food Finesse Since you’ll be eating for the rest of your life, you should be confident while you are eating! Here are a few guidelines for some specific foods: Apples and Pears: In casual situation, eat fruit with your fingers. Bacon: If crisp, it’s a finger food. If limp, use a knife and fork. Baked Potato: With a knife, slit the potato and push the ends toward the center with your fingers. Add butter, sour cream, and whatever else you like. Bananas: At dinner, cut, peel, and eat with fork. On a picnic, peel and eat monkey style. Barbecued Ribs: These are definitely a finger food, but nothing is finger lickin’ good. Bread, Rolls, Muffins, Biscuits: Break off a small piece; butter and eat only this much at a time. Don’t butter or cut the whole roll. Break and butter your bread over your bread plate to keep crumbs where they belong. Butter: Butter is placed on your bread plate, if you have one; if not, put the butter on your dinner plate. Celery, Carrot Sticks, Pickles: Eat with your fingers. Cheese Spread: Spread a little on a cracker; don’t weigh it down. Corn on the Cob: Butter, salt, and eat a few rows at a time. Butter drooling down your chin isn’t a pretty sight, so avoid overdoing it. Crackers: Sure, why not… put them in your soup, a few at a time. Large crackers should be eaten separately. Cupcakes and Brownies: Break and eat with your fingers. Dip: Dip the munchie only once before it enters your mouth. No double dipping! If the dip is on your plate, you may dip and dip and dip. French Fries: These are a finger food. Dip them into the catsup; rather than pouring catsup all over your fries. Use a fork if on main dining plate or if covered in gravy. Fried Chicken: It’s generally a finger food, but follow your host or hostess. Grapes: Cut or break off a bunch, but eat one at a time using your fingers. Gravy or Sauce: Pour it on top of whatever it’s meant for. Don’t have everything on your plate drowning in gravy. Hamburgers and Hot Dogs: Eat with your fingers. Add your toppings, but don’t overdo do it or they will get messy. Jellies (Mint, Apple, Cranberry): Spoon them onto your plate next to the meat. Take a little on your fork and eat it with the meat. Olives: Eat with your fingers. The olive pit is removed from your mouth with cupped fingers. Pizza: Hold a piece in your fingers, curling up the sides to avoid losing the filling. Use a fork if gooey or if it has lots of toppings. Popsicles and Ice Cream Bars: Keep the paper on the bottom until you are finished. Pound Cake: Use your fingers to break and eat. If you add topping, use a fork or spoon. Salad: Use your salad fork if it is a separate course. Use your dinner fork if it is part of your entrée. You may cut large pieces of lettuce with a knife (leave your knife on your salad plate) Shrimp Cocktail: Dip the shrimp into the cocktail sauce, using your seafood fork or use your fingers if the tail is on. (An entrée of Fried or broiled shrimp with the tail on or off should be eaten with a fork) Soup: Tilt the spoon away from you. When you get to the bottom, you may also tilt the bowl away from you. If your soup is too hot, be patient it will cool. Just make sure you don’t blow on it. If the soup is served in a cup with handles, pick it up and drink from it. Never ever slurp. Spaghetti: With your dinner fork, wind a few strands at a time by putting the tines down on the plate and bring it to your mouth (or use a pasta spoon to hold the pasta to the fork). Do not cut. Sticky Cake: Use a fork. Strawberries: Large strawberries may be eaten whole. Grasp the stem and take a couple of bites. Leave the stem on your plate. Sushi: May be eaten with your fingers, but mastering chopsticks will make you look like a pro. Tacos: Hold the taco in your fingers and eat from one side only. Watermelon Slice: A large slice should be cut to bite size with your knife and fork. Use cupped fingers to remove the seeds and leave them on your plate. And, how is food served? Food is served from the left and removal from the right. Note: People seated together always introduce themselves to each other as a sign of courtesy and respect, even when they expect to conduct separate conversations. Bon appétit!

The Dining Do's

Like it or not – “Table Manners” are the single most important benchmark when referring to "Good Manners." We are offering some "Table Do's" today to help you feel confident at your next business or social dining event. We also added a picture of a full table setting for your review. Dining Do’s • Sit up straight, but not stuffy. Your forearm may rest on the table if there is room and your elbows may also rest there in between courses. • Put your napkin on your lap. Use it. Place it on the table, not the chair, if you have to get up during a meal and when you are finished. • Wait for your host or hostess to begin eating or give a signal to begin. • Serve food from the left and remove from the right. Drinks are served and removed from the right. • Bring the food to your mouth, not your mouth down to the food. • Pass both the salt and pepper (one in each hand) even when someone asks for just one. • Break your bread, one piece at a time, butter and eat. • Place a soup spoon, teaspoon or iced tea spoon on the saucer under it. Nix the noise while stirring. • Pick up a dropped utensil at someone’s home (surely the hostess will notice and get you a clean one). Leave it on the floor at a restaurant and ask for another. • Remove a seed, an olive pit, a bone or a piece of gristle from your mouth with your cupped fingers. Hide it under something on your plate, not on the table or in your napkin. • Wipe your nose at the table, with a handkerchief or Kleenex if necessary, but never on your napkin. If you have to blow, excuse yourself and go to the restroom. • Eat finger foods with your fingers, but then use your napkin because nothing is “finger lickin’ good”. • Tilt the soup spoon away from you, like a ship going out to sea, and then bring it up to your mouth. • Eat what you can but don’t make an issue of what you “don’t like” or “can’t eat”; say only “No, thank you” when declining food. Please note these comments are for U.S. dining etiquette. Each culture has different ways of showing "good table manners." If you are heading to another country reach out and ask us. We will help you find out how to fit into any new cultural setting.

The Dining Don'ts

Like it or not – “Table Manners” are the single most important benchmark when referring to "Good Manners." We are offering some Table Don'ts which can be as important as Table Do's. Take these to heart and you will sure to impress! Table Manners Don’ts Don’ts • Chew or talk with your mouth open. • Slurp, smack, blow on hot food, crunch on ice, or make any other unpleasant noises. • Hold a utensil like a shovel. • Pick your teeth, apply lipstick or make-up at the table. • Take a sip of a drink while still chewing food (unless you’re choking). • Cut up all your food at once - only 2 or 3 cuts of meat at a time. • Use your utensil as a serving utensil, or put a serving utensil in your mouth. • Put a utensil on the table once it has been used; place it on a plate. • Push your plate away or stack your plates when you have finished eating. • Execute the boardinghouse reach rather than asking someone to pass you an item. • Eat from someone else’s plate. • Leave the table without saying “excuse me”. • Bring your cell phone or computer to the table. Please note these "don'ts" are related to U.S. table manners. Headed somewhere outside the U.S. and want to know the do's and don'ts of dining etiquette in that country? Just ask us. Marty@mannerspro.com or follow us on instagram or twitter @mannerspro for ongoing tips.

How to Craft Your Killer Elevator Pitch

Last week we told you what a good elevator pitch entails - now we tell you how to get there. 

·       Write down what you do. Write it several different ways. Try writing it at least 10-20 different ways. Don't edit yourself at all. You will edit later. This first step is for generating ideas. Don't hold back. Ideas can be goofy, serious, wild, funny, or conservative. It doesn't matter. The goal is to get at many ideas as possible down on paper.

·       Write a very short story that illustrates what you do for people. If necessary, the story can be long. You will boil it down later. Paint a picture with words.

·       Write down your objective or goal.Do you want to make a sale, gain a prospect, enlist support for an idea, earn a referral, or something else?

·       Write 10-20 action statements. This is a statement or question designed to spur the action associated with your goal.

·       Record yourself. You can use Jott if you don't have a recording device. Jott is a free phone based service that translates your messages into text as well as providing an online link to the original audio.

·       Let it sit. Come back to what you've written with fresh eyes and ears the next day or later on in the same day.

·       Highlight the good stuff. Listen and read through what you've recorded and written. Then either highlight or circle the phrases that hook you with clear, powerful, and visual words. Obviously not all the words will fall into these categories. You still need connector words, but you want them to be as few as possible.

·       Put the best pieces together. Again you'll want to write down several versions of this much tighter pitch. Tell us what you do and why people should want to do business with you. Include elements from your story if you can fit it in.

·       Record these new ones. 

·       Do a final edit cutting as many unnecessary words as possible. Rearrange words and phrases until it sounds just right. Again, the goal is 30-60 seconds maximum.

·       Dress Rehearsal. Run it by as many people as you can get to listen to you. Get feedback from colleagues, clients you trust, friends and family.

·       Done for now. Take your final elevator pitch and write it down. Memorize and practice it until it just slides off your tongue naturally.

·       Continue to improve. Over time, always be on the listen for phrases that you think could make your elevator pitch more clear and impactful. And then test it out. Every once in a while you will probably benefit by starting from scratch because things always change: you, your business, your goals, and your clients' needs.

Written by K. Stone, the author of Life Learning Today

Resources: 

·       You Know What Your Company Does. Can You Explain It in 30 Seconds? By Alison Stein Wellner at Inc. Magazine provides a case study of this process.

·       How to Get Your Point Across in 30 Seconds or Less by Milo O. Frank is a great resource for clear concise communications in general.

Essential Elements of a Powerful Elevator Pitch

Are you ready in 10-20 seconds to tell someone what you are about in business? Can you make that pitch in the length of an elevator ride?

Tips to your great elevator pitch...

1.     Concise. Your pitch should take no longer than 30-60 seconds.

2.     Clear. Use language that everyone understands. Don't use fancy words thinking it will make you sound smarter. Your listener won't understand you and you'll have lost your opportunity to hook them.

3.     Powerful. Use words that are powerful and strong. Deliver the "Sis-Boom-Bang" to grab their attention!

4.     Visual. Use words that create a visual image in your listeners mind. This will make your message memorable.

5.     Tell a Story. A short story, that is. A good story is essentially this: someone with a problem either finds a solution or faces tragedy. Either type of story can be used to illuminate what you do.

6.     Targeted. A great elevator pitch is aimed for a specific audience. If you have target audiences that are vastly different, you might want to have a unique pitch for each.

7.     Goal Oriented. A kick-ass elevator pitch is designed with a specific outcome in mind. What is your desired outcome? You may have different pitches depending on different objectives. For instance do you want to: make a sale, gain a prospect, enlist support for an idea, or earn a referral.

8.     Has a Hook. This is the element that literally snags your listener's interest and makes them want to know more. This is the phrase or words that strike a chord in your listener.

Back to school etiquette rules part 2

We discussed some great etiquette tips to go over with your children during this back to school period. We will finish those thoughts today.

1) Respect Your Peers - by the time most kids get to school they know not to take things from other people and to let everyone have a "turn."  These rules should be translated to the classroom setting - like don't take others homework or snacks and let each person touch the pet turtle being passed around. 

2) Play Nicely - this further echoes the respect point above but can go a little deeper. Even if a child does not like someone they can be nice to them.  You can also emphasize following safety rules on places like the playground so that no one gets hurt. 

3) Classroom Behavior - you should stress to your child there will be new rules in classrooms that may be unfamiliar to them. They are there to help everyone learn and stay safe. Stress that the teacher and principal are in charge and that you should do as they say. 

4) Accepting Differences - make sure your child knows there is a wide range of differences among students in their classes. Some of the things they will encounter are different abilities, religions, races, types of families and living situations. 

For what it's worth these tips can also help us adults in an office, nonprofit, church, etc. situation. As I wrote this post, I had to look in the mirror to make sure these were ideals and actions  I was pursuing each day. What we know is that it's no easy task to do these things all of the time and practicing good manners should be a lifelong commitment.  

Back to School Etiquette Rules - Part 1

This is a hectic time of year for many families as we get kids back into the swing of a school schedule and school responsibilities. This presents a great opportunity to talk to your kids about some etiquette tips that will help them this school year and into their future!

1) Respect time - tell your children what time school starts and explain the importance of honoring that by arriving on time. Being late is disruptive to everyone in the class. However, it isn’t wise to show up too early because the teacher may not be prepared. 

2) How to address elders or those in authority - If your child hasn’t yet learned how to address adults in authority, explain that teachers should be called Miss, Mrs., Ms., or Mr. with their last names. You can reinforce this by addressing the teachers in the same way to prevent confusion for your child. Children (and adults) need to understand that the use of the proper title shows respect.

3) Cleanliness - Express how important it is to be clean and dressed appropriately for school. This includes bathing, washing hands after eating, and brushing teeth. Cleanliness also can apply to their cubby or desk space - keeping this clean will help them learn to keep a tidy work space in the future and lead to less lost homework in the present!

Handwritten Letters - Still Important

I realize posting an online blog piece on written letters is a littler ridiculous but I hope you will be encouraged to pick up a pen the next time you want to reach out to someone. 

Write Just Because  - Consider writing a letter for no reason at all. And think about how positively you will impact the receiver! You may even find you actually like writing about the everyday - reflecting on small daily pleasures like the sunshine from the window that wakes you up in the morning and successfully fixing that leaky faucet. Just sharing your experiences and concern for others shows you care about keeping them informed and close to you. 

Clearly Communicate - I am the biggest offender in this but when you write, consider your penmanship. I know this is no longer taught in school but thoughtful handwriting shows you took time and you care about the letter you are writing. You take it more seriously than a grocery list. 

Personalized Stationary - Bring it back! It does not have to be expensive or fancy but just a notecard with your initials or name is like putting on your "Sunday best."  

Thank Profusely - You may frequently thank people for giving gifts but consider thanking people just for being themselves - you're coworker who always lends a hand, your children's teachers, doctors who have made an impact, etc. 

Bonus to Handwriting - Hand writing instead of texting/typing activates your brain to retain more information. You may find a better way to take notes at work - and remember more!

To dusting off those pens!

Perfect Party Punch

Here are a few tips to make the perfect party punch for your next summer soirée. 

1) Stick to the old punch formula - "one of sour, two of sweet, three of strong, four of weak."

2) Make the perfect garnish for your punch by freezing fruits or cucumbers or herbs into ice blocks. Immediately raises your punch game. I like to check out my local farmers market for good ideas. The farmers know their foods and how to pair them. For example check out your local Edible magazine for some good locations near you. @ediblehouston is my choice. 

3) White spirits like gin or vodka work best in summer punches as they are not overpowering. One of my new favorite punch additions is the Deep Eddy flavored vodkas like grapefruit or lemon for refreshing summer punches. 

4) Use quality ingredients. Just because it's going in a punch is no reason to skimp on quality. Guests will know the difference. 

5) Let your punch shine by using glass or crystal bowls for colorful punches or copper bowls for less colorful punches. 

Beach Time Behavior

We are all heading out to beaches and lakes to celebrate this 4th of July. We have just a few tips for being a considerate beach goer or lake lounger. 

1) Beach Food

Make your food bite size so nothing gets wasted. Sand proof you food - use your ziplocs religiously. Smaller than containers and easily thrown away. Some may use coolers as the main place to congregate but the real pros will bring out the folding tables to bring it all up a notch. I love these tables from Sam'sClub. http://m.samsclub.com/ip/4-comm-adj-comm-grade-adj/prod8340198?pid=_CSE_Google_PLA_Folding_Tables&source=ifpla&CAWELAID=730010300000300481&adid=22222222628000000571&veh=sem. They come in different sizes and are very easy to tote (and useful for house parties with a quick tablecloth). 

2) Dunes & Don'ts

Keep glassware off the beach 

No boom boxes or super loud talking

Throw away your trash

Keep your dog on a leash

Secure your umbrellas

Refill any holes you dug

Don't feed the gulls

Use spf - a lot

Stay off the dunes

3) Beach Butts

Smoke if you must but keep it far from others and make sure smoke is not heading downstream to fellow sunbathers 

Now go enjoy the long weekend! 

How to be a great potluck party guest

What do you make? How much do you bring? Potlucks sometimes leave more questions than answers for guests. Here are some quick tips:

1) Think before saying "yes" - if you sign up for the appetizer will you be able to commit to being right on time to the party? If not, sign up for dessert. If you are not a good cook or don't enjoy cooking, don't sign up for main dish.  Instead, offer to do something easy for you like making a fruit tray or cheese/charcuterie plate. 

2) Be considerate of limited oven/stove time - try to pick a dish that can easily be served when you arrive. If you cannot keep something warm during travel time, let you hosts know so they can save you some precious stove or oven time. 

3) Bring something that can easily be served on a plate - as opposed to making host add spoons and bowls to the tableware (and cleaning duty). 

4) Arrive on time to potlucks (or see point 1 above and notify your host). Your dish may slow the whole party to a crawl and stress out your hosts that a big part of the meal is not accounted for. 

Now go enjoy that party!

How to be a great potluck hostess

Your potluck party can be a great success but you still must be prepared. Help your generous guests know how to prepare. Here are a few ideas:

1) Choose a theme - let your guests know if the party is a casual Tex-mex or more formal holiday gathering. Guests bringing a food item to share don't want to put their tubberware next to fine china. A theme helps with all of those unspoken questions. 

2) For a potluck, know your numbers so each person will know how much to prepare. (i.e. for 20 guests, if there are 2 desserts they should each serve 10 people). 

3) Ask guests to sign up for items - two starch sides, two veggie sides, two desserts (signupgenius.com

is a great site to help make this easy).

4) Label dishes well - especially if it is a potluck. Guests like to know what they are digging into and it can really help those guests who may have allergies.

5) Prep your service ware. Your guests likely will not bring the salad tongs, or gravy ladles. Have those ready to swoop in to complete the table. 

6) Plan for leftovers. Have extra bags, plates for to go items. Let the dish maker decide if they want to bring their leftovers home or if they want to share with other guests to take home. 

Have a great potluck party! 

What do "good manners" really mean and how do we practice them?

At Manners Pro, we like to say that manners are the nice way of doing things. Good manners help others feel more comfortable and know what to expect next. To that end, in the business world, home world or school world, how can we best practice good manners in a proactive way? It is not just opening doors for others; it is a mindset about how we approach relationships that will really help us practice good manners. Consider the following: 1. Understand the power of your words. How different could our relationships look if we committed to saying positive things like “thank you” and “great job” more often? I submit those relationships would be much more positive. Our words carry more weight than we know. Our words can speak positivity into the people around us if we’re willing to run them through a filter of consideration for others first - which is the very definition of having good manners. This doesn’t mean that we have to sugarcoat everything or shy away from the truth. It simply means we should be slow to critique and quick to compliment and encourage others. 2. Commit to helping others succeed. If you are successful in life, then good for you. But if those around you are successful, that will define the legacy you leave and how others think of you. Our friends, coworkers, spouses and kids won’t remember us for what we accomplish, but instead for what we helped them to accomplish and how we encouraged them on along the way. If you are sincerely committed to helping others around you reach their goals, you will be the person people regard as having great matters and the most consideration for others.

Dress for Success - Literally

Recent research shows that if you are dressed more formally, you will have an edge in business transactions. What does that mean? It means what we have known for a long time; people make most judgements based on what we see, not on what we hear.  In fact 80% of people's judgments are based on such nonverbal cues. 

In order to make sure your great ideas are really heard, how should we change the way we dress? Take it one step up and consider:

1) Make sure your duds fit well. A tailor is your best friend. Nothing hanging,nothing  wrinkled, nothing pulling, and nothing you are are constantly rearranging. 

2) Ensure your pallet says power. Darker colors generally translate better in business than lighter colors. Also watch many patterns that may come off as less professional than solid colors pallets. 

3) Finish strong with good accessories. Shoes should not be scuffed and purses should be appropriately "business." Structured bags usually can help with this. Jewelry should fit you like your clothes do and nothing too flashy.  Be comfortable in what you put on and tasteful. 

As a caveat, all of these suggestions should be tailored to your business area. If you are in a creative environment like ad design or fashion merchandising, add some flare to your patterns or accessories. Show how artistic you can be. If you are in the legal field, consider more conservative color pallets and accessories and show them how much thought you have put into every detail!

Now go get 'em!

Entertaining v Hospitality - is there really a difference?

Yes - a huge difference ! I was so encouraged by this recent email I received and I had to share it with you. I think this perfectly summarizes the differences and certainly makes me want to be more hospitable to others. 

Excerpt by Jen Wilkin: Encouragement for Today

"Entertaining involves setting the perfect tablescape after an exhaustive search on Pinterest. It chooses a menu that will impress, then frets its way through each stage of preparation. It requires every throw pillow be in place, every cobweb eradicated, every child neat and orderly. It plans extra time to don the perfect outfit before the first guest touches the doorbell on the seasonally decorated doorstep. And should any element of the plan fall short, entertaining perceives the entire evening to have been tainted. Entertaining focuses attention on self.

Hospitality, on the other hand, involves setting a table that makes everyone feel comfortable. It chooses a menu that allows face-to-face time with guests instead of being chained to the kitchen. It picks up the house, but doesn’t feel the need to conceal evidence of everyday life. It sometimes sits down to dinner with flour in its hair. It allows the gathering to be shaped by the quality of the conversation rather than the cuisine. Hospitality shows interest in the thoughts, feelings, pursuits and preferences of the guests. It asks questions and listens intently to answers. Hospitality focuses attention on others.

Entertaining is always thinking about the next course. Hospitality burns the rolls while listening to a story.

Entertaining obsesses over what went wrong. Hospitality savors what was shared.

Entertaining, exhausted, says"It was nothing, really!" Hospitality thinks it was nothing. Really.

Entertaining seeks to impress. Hospitality seeks to bless."

May we all be more hospitable today!

What to do when a friend is in crisis - part 2

Yesterday I shared some of the dear things friends and family recently did for me and my husband while he was having  unexpected surgeries and prolonged recovery. The affection does not stop and we are so blessed. So many friends and family kept us laughing along this tough journey.  They would send a random text with a fantastic quote or picture. They sent great handwritten cards with words of encouragement, laughter and lightheartedness. A precious friend sent us adult coloring books - yes they exist and yes they are awesome. They sent playing cards and word games. The joy that was sent was so welcome and relieving so when in crisis. So send your love in a fun way. It is always nice to lighten the mood with so many tough things going on. 

What to do when a friend is in crisis..,.

We all want to help when a friend is having a hard time. Often we send notes that say "please let me know if you need anything" or something similar to that. Candidly that is what I often do. But, some recent personal events have taught me a lot about crisis etiquette for lack of a better word. I am sure this is not a one size fits all response but these are my observations. 

When a friend is in crisis, they often don't know what they need so offering the help of "let me know if you need anything" without something more specific is really just giving them another decision to handle at a time when that is very hard. 

I recently had some amazing friends and family help me and my husband through an unexpected surgery. They just showed up and spent time with us. They brought books and things to keep us amused. They offered to help with anything but their presence alone was the amazing gift. Sometimes the best gift you can give is your time. When you are present, the person in crisis will ask for what they need. 

Others just did things like bring food or walk out dog. They did not ask really; they just did it whether we asked or not. Let me say everything by these folks was greatly appreciated.  We certainly enjoyed every bit of the food and help and particularly enjoyed knowing what great friends we have.  Their specific proactivity in our time of need was exactly what the doctor ordered.