How to be a great potluck party guest

What do you make? How much do you bring? Potlucks sometimes leave more questions than answers for guests. Here are some quick tips:

1) Think before saying "yes" - if you sign up for the appetizer will you be able to commit to being right on time to the party? If not, sign up for dessert. If you are not a good cook or don't enjoy cooking, don't sign up for main dish.  Instead, offer to do something easy for you like making a fruit tray or cheese/charcuterie plate. 

2) Be considerate of limited oven/stove time - try to pick a dish that can easily be served when you arrive. If you cannot keep something warm during travel time, let you hosts know so they can save you some precious stove or oven time. 

3) Bring something that can easily be served on a plate - as opposed to making host add spoons and bowls to the tableware (and cleaning duty). 

4) Arrive on time to potlucks (or see point 1 above and notify your host). Your dish may slow the whole party to a crawl and stress out your hosts that a big part of the meal is not accounted for. 

Now go enjoy that party!

How to be a great potluck hostess

Your potluck party can be a great success but you still must be prepared. Help your generous guests know how to prepare. Here are a few ideas:

1) Choose a theme - let your guests know if the party is a casual Tex-mex or more formal holiday gathering. Guests bringing a food item to share don't want to put their tubberware next to fine china. A theme helps with all of those unspoken questions. 

2) For a potluck, know your numbers so each person will know how much to prepare. (i.e. for 20 guests, if there are 2 desserts they should each serve 10 people). 

3) Ask guests to sign up for items - two starch sides, two veggie sides, two desserts (signupgenius.com

is a great site to help make this easy).

4) Label dishes well - especially if it is a potluck. Guests like to know what they are digging into and it can really help those guests who may have allergies.

5) Prep your service ware. Your guests likely will not bring the salad tongs, or gravy ladles. Have those ready to swoop in to complete the table. 

6) Plan for leftovers. Have extra bags, plates for to go items. Let the dish maker decide if they want to bring their leftovers home or if they want to share with other guests to take home. 

Have a great potluck party! 

What do "good manners" really mean and how do we practice them?

At Manners Pro, we like to say that manners are the nice way of doing things. Good manners help others feel more comfortable and know what to expect next. To that end, in the business world, home world or school world, how can we best practice good manners in a proactive way? It is not just opening doors for others; it is a mindset about how we approach relationships that will really help us practice good manners. Consider the following: 1. Understand the power of your words. How different could our relationships look if we committed to saying positive things like “thank you” and “great job” more often? I submit those relationships would be much more positive. Our words carry more weight than we know. Our words can speak positivity into the people around us if we’re willing to run them through a filter of consideration for others first - which is the very definition of having good manners. This doesn’t mean that we have to sugarcoat everything or shy away from the truth. It simply means we should be slow to critique and quick to compliment and encourage others. 2. Commit to helping others succeed. If you are successful in life, then good for you. But if those around you are successful, that will define the legacy you leave and how others think of you. Our friends, coworkers, spouses and kids won’t remember us for what we accomplish, but instead for what we helped them to accomplish and how we encouraged them on along the way. If you are sincerely committed to helping others around you reach their goals, you will be the person people regard as having great matters and the most consideration for others.

Dress for Success - Literally

Recent research shows that if you are dressed more formally, you will have an edge in business transactions. What does that mean? It means what we have known for a long time; people make most judgements based on what we see, not on what we hear.  In fact 80% of people's judgments are based on such nonverbal cues. 

In order to make sure your great ideas are really heard, how should we change the way we dress? Take it one step up and consider:

1) Make sure your duds fit well. A tailor is your best friend. Nothing hanging,nothing  wrinkled, nothing pulling, and nothing you are are constantly rearranging. 

2) Ensure your pallet says power. Darker colors generally translate better in business than lighter colors. Also watch many patterns that may come off as less professional than solid colors pallets. 

3) Finish strong with good accessories. Shoes should not be scuffed and purses should be appropriately "business." Structured bags usually can help with this. Jewelry should fit you like your clothes do and nothing too flashy.  Be comfortable in what you put on and tasteful. 

As a caveat, all of these suggestions should be tailored to your business area. If you are in a creative environment like ad design or fashion merchandising, add some flare to your patterns or accessories. Show how artistic you can be. If you are in the legal field, consider more conservative color pallets and accessories and show them how much thought you have put into every detail!

Now go get 'em!

Entertaining v Hospitality - is there really a difference?

Yes - a huge difference ! I was so encouraged by this recent email I received and I had to share it with you. I think this perfectly summarizes the differences and certainly makes me want to be more hospitable to others. 

Excerpt by Jen Wilkin: Encouragement for Today

"Entertaining involves setting the perfect tablescape after an exhaustive search on Pinterest. It chooses a menu that will impress, then frets its way through each stage of preparation. It requires every throw pillow be in place, every cobweb eradicated, every child neat and orderly. It plans extra time to don the perfect outfit before the first guest touches the doorbell on the seasonally decorated doorstep. And should any element of the plan fall short, entertaining perceives the entire evening to have been tainted. Entertaining focuses attention on self.

Hospitality, on the other hand, involves setting a table that makes everyone feel comfortable. It chooses a menu that allows face-to-face time with guests instead of being chained to the kitchen. It picks up the house, but doesn’t feel the need to conceal evidence of everyday life. It sometimes sits down to dinner with flour in its hair. It allows the gathering to be shaped by the quality of the conversation rather than the cuisine. Hospitality shows interest in the thoughts, feelings, pursuits and preferences of the guests. It asks questions and listens intently to answers. Hospitality focuses attention on others.

Entertaining is always thinking about the next course. Hospitality burns the rolls while listening to a story.

Entertaining obsesses over what went wrong. Hospitality savors what was shared.

Entertaining, exhausted, says"It was nothing, really!" Hospitality thinks it was nothing. Really.

Entertaining seeks to impress. Hospitality seeks to bless."

May we all be more hospitable today!

What to do when a friend is in crisis - part 2

Yesterday I shared some of the dear things friends and family recently did for me and my husband while he was having  unexpected surgeries and prolonged recovery. The affection does not stop and we are so blessed. So many friends and family kept us laughing along this tough journey.  They would send a random text with a fantastic quote or picture. They sent great handwritten cards with words of encouragement, laughter and lightheartedness. A precious friend sent us adult coloring books - yes they exist and yes they are awesome. They sent playing cards and word games. The joy that was sent was so welcome and relieving so when in crisis. So send your love in a fun way. It is always nice to lighten the mood with so many tough things going on. 

What to do when a friend is in crisis..,.

We all want to help when a friend is having a hard time. Often we send notes that say "please let me know if you need anything" or something similar to that. Candidly that is what I often do. But, some recent personal events have taught me a lot about crisis etiquette for lack of a better word. I am sure this is not a one size fits all response but these are my observations. 

When a friend is in crisis, they often don't know what they need so offering the help of "let me know if you need anything" without something more specific is really just giving them another decision to handle at a time when that is very hard. 

I recently had some amazing friends and family help me and my husband through an unexpected surgery. They just showed up and spent time with us. They brought books and things to keep us amused. They offered to help with anything but their presence alone was the amazing gift. Sometimes the best gift you can give is your time. When you are present, the person in crisis will ask for what they need. 

Others just did things like bring food or walk out dog. They did not ask really; they just did it whether we asked or not. Let me say everything by these folks was greatly appreciated.  We certainly enjoyed every bit of the food and help and particularly enjoyed knowing what great friends we have.  Their specific proactivity in our time of need was exactly what the doctor ordered.