Compliments That Really Count - Give an "A" for trying

Whether as a parent, friend, or boss, it is important to give compliments that really count so that you motivate the right behavior. It may seem counterintuitive, but commending what comes naturally - whether it's athletic talent, a musical gift or brainpower - often backfires. A recent Columbia University study found that kids who were praised for their intelligence became overly focused on performing well. After incorrectly answering some IQ test questions, kids showed less persistence and performed poorly even on easier ones that followed. Once you praise a child for intelligence, they can become invested in success. They fear difficulty because they begin to equate failure with stupidity. Recognizing and rewarding effort, however, has the opposite effect, motivig kids to work harder, aim higher and savor their achievements. I think the same motivations likely work on those that work with us - people will work harder when we recognize the effort - not just the aptitude. When we recognize effort, we show that value hard work in those we work with and it is likely that these kinds of compliments will continue to get harder work as a result!