Customer service - the right first question?

I have had some recent shopping experiences where some of the customer service folks have it so right and others where they have it so wrong. To brag - men's shops tend to get it right. I go into men's clothing stores with my boyfriend and they know when to be attentive and when to let you look. I wonder if men are generally more straight forward than women and so when someone says they don't need help they accept that more readily?  Also men's stores tend to ask if you are "looking for something specific" whereas women's stores tend to ask "can I help you". The latter question is more open ended and I submit the men's stores generally get a better answer. If I am looking for something specific I will say - yes where are the casual pants? They show me and I get them and leave.  And if I say no then they know I am a browser and tend to leave me to look. 

The challenge is always to know whether to "help" aggressively or more subtlety suggest items. I think those in customer service need to pay attention to the cues given. I often say I don't need help and when I say it I mean it. And when I have a "hovering" sales associate it is a sure fire way to make me leave. When that happens, I feel like they did not listen to me when I said I did not need help and worse they hover because they think I am going to take something. If stores think people may take things they need more subtle ways to discover that than huddling around each customer.  Also I submit the better question is whether I am looking for something specific - then they circumvent any question about what I am doing - browser, intentional shopper or otherwise and can immediately give me the best customer service by attending to my specific needs.