Be the perfect party guest - RSVP

1) RSVP ASAP - at the longest within a day or two. 2) The maybe? That is a tougher option. If you are just weighing your options, just say no. It's not ok to not respond. If it's an evite, a host can see that you viewed it so they may think you are ignoring them. If your plans change or you can come, give a week's notice. A host will usually be happy to have you back. 3) If you don't want to go, don't make up an excuse. Just say that you cannot attend. 4) RSVP for whom? You want to bring your spouse or kids? Do not assume that any of them are invited. Don't ask can we bring the kids when the invite is clear - e.g. "couples party" does not mean bring the toddler. If you must ask, leave it open ended like "I am excited about the party. Shall I tell the hubby?" That gives the host an easier way to answer. 5) You can only make an appearance? If you can only make an appearance and it is a sit down dinner, let your host know. If its unstructured and you can stay there for 30 minutes that is fine enough to come in, greet the host, and have a drink. 6) Your yes changes to a no - as soon as you know you cannot attend, let your host know. Don't be a no show. It's rude to your host. You don't have to share all the details but let them know you will miss being there.

Master of the Coffee Interview - Part 5

Rule #5 - Preparation for the person on the other side of the Starbucks Table - If you are the busy professional with little time for small talk and have people frequently ask you for coffee interviews, you can probably use a few tips too. Even if you enjoy helping others, these sessions can sometimes feel burdensome or fruitless. Increase their chances for success by being selective and asking for a little advance work. Before committing to coffee, look for a commonality (friend, alma mater, etc)and consider whether or not you have meaningful insights to offer, then pass the ball back with the question of how the asker thinks you can specifically help them. Also ask them to specify the topics they want to explore. Also be prepared for the meeting, request a resume of the asker and ask them to specify their goals. You can often weed through the small talk questions and get right to the heart of the matter with a little preparation. Additionally, you don't always have to do these in person. Often a 15 minute phone call or skype session may be a way to save on your time but still give the asker the information requested. Further, you could designate one day a month for coffee meetings - first Wednesday of each month from 9 am to 11 am and when that slot is full you pass future requests to the next month.

Master of the Coffee Interview - Part 4

Rule 4 - Listen more than you talk. In advance, research your coffee-mate and his or her company. Don't ask anything you can discover online with some research. Remember you are there to glean wisdom, not sell yourself. Pay attention and relax. You should not be nervous; this is infomation gathering and creating a new relationship.

Master of The Coffee Interview - Part 3

Rule 3 - Make it easy for the other person to say yes! - Suggest a location near his or her office and indicate that you will take limited time. Spend no more than 30 minutes if you can. Time is valuable. Present a few specific dates and times for the meeting to give the askee lots of options and not make them be the planner of the time slot.

Master of the Coffee Interview - Part 2

Rules for handling information one-on-one coffee interviews considerately and efficiently! Rule #2 - Mind Your Manners - Just because it's coffee does not mean it's casual. Don't arrive like you just came from the gym. The less well the person knows you, the more professional you should dress. Order something simple so you can focus on the conversation - coffee with cream. No half caf, chocolate-caramel, two splenda, no whip, soy latte. Let the other party who has agreed to sit down with you order whatever they like! Attempt to pay for both drinks, even though the more senior person will often pick up the tab. Send a handwritten thank you right away. Email is nice, but handwritten is even better.

Master of the Coffee Interview - Part 1

Rules for handling informational one-on-one coffee interviews considerately, efficiently, and with panache! Rule 1 - Be specific. When you email someone for a coffee let them know exactly how they can help you. Don't mass email your address book. That is like sending spam mail coupons and hoping someone uses them. Ask them for example to objectively review your resume or information about changing departments in your industry. You may also want to hear about someone' career path or their particular company. Don't ever, ever ask for a job, even though you may be looking for one. Coffee meetings are for sharing information and establishing a connection.

Owning It - Part 2

We have a few more tips to take on stressful situations with poise and grace. Thinking you can do it is half the battle - and I promise you can! 1) Dinner Party Explosion - Your dinner party for 4 turned into a dinner party for 8 at the last minute. What do you do? Adding pasta or rice to any protein that you may have planned to eat will add plenty of heft to make the meal work for the bigger group. Also dessert is easy enough - add a pint of ice cream and split up the planned cake in smaller portions. You can also ask for help. Letting someone bring a bigger salad or additional bottle of wine will ease your stress and make the party a breeze. 2) Applied for a job not quite qualified for - but you want it really badly! Everyone knows the climb the corporate ladder you need to skip a few rungs. Do not fret over holes in your resume. Employers will skip over qualified applicants for one that is really hungry for the job and shares a sense of enthusiasm. To make this believable you need to research the job and the company thoroughly and be prepared with specific business plans to show you will be ready on day one to learn and get things done. Still not getting the job? Find the company you want to work for and write a letter to the person you want to work for with your resume. Let them know you are eager even if they have no openings. Eagerness is hard to ignore so there is a good chance you will be the first call when something opens up.

Owning It - Part 1

Whether you are braving a party solo or chasing your dream job, attitude is half the battle. Thinking you have what it takes to get it done will go a long way to that actually happening. Here are some tips to handling those next stressful situations you face. 1 - Socializing solo - all dressed up and no one you know at the party. Do not stress about it. Shine! Walk up to a group of guest who look like they are having a good time and introduce yourself. Say you look like you were having a such a good time I would love to join you. People are generally nice. You will not get turned away. Ask how people know the host or hostess. That gives good starter to conversation and helps give you context to keep the conversation going. Also being up to date on current events is a great way to ensure no lulls through the night. Everyone likes to talk about their own city and what happening there. Keep it light but interesting with local sports or school activities or events coming to town. You will find you can have a great time not having known a soul at the start. 2 - Work Presentation - You planned for the power point deck edits and have an idea about what you are going to say but you went out last night and did not do all the final planning you wanted to. How do you come off professional and polished? Nervous people tend to talk too long and usually do not make sense. Audiences only retain so much so rambling has a negative effect. Plan the pithy parts that you need and keep it under your allotted time. Leave time for question and answer. Also allow for audience participation. The most important thing is to convey comfort not fear - smile, laugh, breathe - you will own the room.

Maneuvering Tough Interview Questions Well

There is always something about a person or resume that may spark tough questions. Here are some thoughts on how to answer these like a pro. 1) Your resume shows you have bounced from job to job or city to city. When interviewer asks why you move so much, a good answer may be that you like to seek out challenges and that all your past jobs have given you a variety of skills that you believe you can implement at this new job. Also emphasize that you want to continue to grow so they know you will be someone who sticks around! 2) You may be young and not had a lot of work experience. Sometimes you have to do a lot of grunt work at entry level positions. They may ask things like "How do you feel about making copies and getting coffee?" Your answer could be genuine - I hate that ...but I will do anything needed for a great job and a great boss and in time I hope I will prove myslef more valuable and give me more to do. That shows you have a positive attitude and want to grow. 3) The inevitable question if you are leaving a job is why are you leaving? One answer is that you like your job but believe this is a unique opportunity that you cannot pass up. That kind of answer does not disparage your current employer and shows you are a go-getter!

Sneaky Interview Tricks To Learn What You are Really Getting Into (Part II)

So there are some things you really want to know after an interview but how can I ask these questions without being crass? 1) You want to know "Will I ever get promoted or is this a dead end job?" Ask where are the people that had this job before me? You want to see whether they stayed at the company, left, or moved up. This answer says a lot about the potential of the position. 2) You want to know "Do people like it here?" Ask nothing! You can see it on people's faces and in their interactions. This is a good reason to come a little early to an interview to see what is going on. Ask to use the restroom and observe as you walk. Are people chatting, laughing, or crickets? Find former employees through your linkedin or facebook networks. They may be happy to give you insight as well.

Sneaky Interview Tricks To Learn What You are Really Getting Into (Part I)

So there are some questions in an interview you really want to know the answer to but you just don't know how to ask without sounding crass...Here are some thoughts: 1) You want to know "What is the salary?" Here is what you can ask - I'd love to understand this role better. How does a typical workday go, what the compensation like, and how many people would I be supervising? Because It's perfectly fine to ask about pay, but it's tough to pull off a pointed questions. Wrap it in a few other quearies, and they'll give you some ballpark figures. Also websites help to know a general range (www.salary.com) for example to see if the salary seems fair. 2) You want to know "Is the boss crazy? Ask How can I succeed here? You will be able to tease out boss' expectations. When they say we want you to have a work-life balance you know one thing but when they say we want you to dedicate yourself to work that says something else. Employee turnover is also an important signal of what its like to wortk there.

Interview Mistakes to Avoid (Part II)

You are about to interview for your dream job! Don't blow it! 1. Qualify Nothing. A lot of people have negative speech habits like kinda, actually, literally, well... (i.e. I am kinda thinking about moving to the area). These types of qualifiers serve as a hedge and make it seem like you are not confident about yourself or the position. Disclaimers are also a distraction for an interviewer. (i.e. Well, I was considering following up.) These statements undermine your credibility. Check your speech "tics" before an interview. Have friend listen to you and note the "tics" or record yourself on a conversation with a friend to find these speech patterns - because literally a speech tic could literally kill any chances you have of getting the job, literally. 2. Stay on Topic. Talk only about things that directly correlate with your ability to do the job; your knowledge, skills, and abilities. For legal reasons, interviewers are trained to stay away from trouble spots but interviewees often open up too much when interviewing. For example, you may casually mention a family problem or talk about your favorite sports team. You never know when a interviewer may be a die hard fan of a rival sports team. Don't ever let extraneous things impede your chances to get the job - when really your ability is all that matters. 3. Pare Down. Many people bring extraneous things to an interview. They really serve as a distraction to you and others. Consider leaving the cell phone in the car. Bring a small purse, if any, so that your hands are always free to shake hands without too much of a juggling act. Leave drinks, magazines, etc. at home too. Everything you bring in is subject to judgment by the interviewer so keep it to minimum and most importantly keep the focus on you and your ability to do a great job!

Interview Mistakes to Avoid (Part I)

You are applying for your dream job! Don't blow it! 1) Ladies (and men!) leave the stilettos at home. The first sign you will not be hired is if you are not dressed for the part. Either overdress with too much makeup, jewelry, or impractical shoes. This is the not the look that says I can put in a 12 hour day in these things. Show you are serious - that does not mean dowdy but it does mean you don't wear every fashion forward piece you own at once. You can also dress too down for an interview. Say you are applying for an entry level job in a mail room, don't come in running shoes and t-shirt to the interview. Wear sophisticated clothes - one step above what is to be expected on the job, not a whole ladder. 2) Don't air your grievances. One of the most important parts of the interview is when you explain the decisions you have made - why you have chosen prior jobs and why you are moving to another job now. These explanations speak volumes about your motivation and attitude. It is never flattering to use this time to air your frustrations about your current boss or bad situation. Find a positive way to frame the situation. You don't have to fake it and say it was all rosy, but say how much you learned from your experiences and how you have learned to deal with difficult situations in a positive way.

Getting LinkedIn Right

If you are a professional, get signed up with LinkedIn. Recruiters are much more likely to give you an initial call ball if they can look you up and verify some of your work history and see what others may be saying about you. LinkedIn takes time to build so its important to start this process sooner rather than later. Here are a few tips to making it work for you: 1) Use a great photo. It should be less than five years old from the shoulders up, dressed professionally, and SMILING! Do not use a selfie or personal photo. It seems unprofessional and like you are more into socializing than business. 2) List every position. A profile that lists more than one job will get you looked at more closely and it will show your skill set. Who knows? Your prior work may have some interesting experience to a prospective employer. Plus LinkedIn can be a great supplement to your 1-2 page resume where you are somewhat constrained on space. 3) Upload Projects. Share your recent presentations on poignant topics and let your work do the advertising for you! 4) Seek "Endorsements". You can ask clients or bosses to highlight specific skills that you want noticed and importantly, that you would like to continue doing. For example, if you are a jack of all trades at your job but really want to focus on HR, then have your boss highlight how you helped successfully revise the employee handbook or dealt with co-worker conflict.

Real Reasons You Get Hired (Part II)

While your resume may be stellar, it is important to remember that your resume alone will not be why a company hires you. Remember there are a lot of smart, talented folks with similar experience. Make yourself stand out! So for your interviews consider the following: 1) You've Done Your Homework Do not walk into an interview without really knowing about the company. We all can "google" it and we should. When you walk and don't know most all publicly available info on a company, you are wasting the interviewers time and yours. Further, you seem to have hubris - like you deserve the job whether you know anything about it or not. I interviewed countless potential hires for one of my former companies where they said they were interested in working in California or New York - the company did not even have offices there!!! Get that stuff right or you will be summarily marked off the list. 2) Show You Can Think On Your Feet Some trash on the floor in the office as you walk through? Pick it up and throw it away. That shows you are conscientious and don't pass by problems. The drink spills over at the interview? Walk out and ask about towel and stay calm. Show you can handle any situation. 3) Ask for the Job If you liked your interview experience and you believe the company is a fit for you, ask for the job. Do not leave the interview and just hope for the best. Say thank you for the interview, I really want this job and would love the opportunity to work with you. That will go a long way to ensuring you are at the top of the list!

Real Reasons You Get Hired (Part I)

While your resume may be stellar, it is important to remember that your resume alone will not be why a company hires you. Remember there are a lot of smart, talented folks with similar experience. Make yourself stand out! So for your interviews consider the following: 1) Look Pulled Together About clothes: they matter. Dress for the part you aspire to be - not just the job you are interviewing for. Do not wear anything casual like miniskirts or tube tops. Get something that fits you well and that you are comfortable in. Also be prepared for anything on interview day. Raining outside, bring your umbrella. Hot, get there early so you can cool down and look calmed for your interview. Pulled together will say you want this job, no matter what. 2) Be Into Something Be a human!!! Your answer to every question should not be that you enjoy spending hours plugging away at a desk and just want to be a great worker. Yawn! I don't want to hang out with you 12 hours a day. I want to know people who have a passion for other things like golfing, gardening, stamp collecting - anything! Play sports? Mention that too. Group sports show you can work well with a team and deal well with pressure. Its these intangibles that often have the greatest appeal. 3) Don't talk Poorly About Current Employer Even if your current boss is horrible, do not throw her under the bus at your interview. Make it a positive. You have learned from current job and are ready to move on to a new opportunity. Leave it at that. You will come off as a positive worker and everyone wants to find positive folks to work with.

Speech Goofs to Avoid Part III (Baby Talk)

Logically, women know that speaking in a baby voice does not say totally together career woman! Yet women whose voices are not naturally high pitched sometimes break into this tone when under pressure. Women could consciously or unconsciously be using the ammunition that worked for them as children. But this innocent-cute card that worked to get your way as an adolescant does not project authority as an adult. Yawning several times with your mouth wide open and with pursed lips helps stretch your throat and tongue and prevents sounds from escaping through your nose, thus eliminating nasally baby voice. If you have a naturally high pitched voice, humming in a low pitch can warm up your voice and get it into that lower register.

Speech Goofs to Avoid Part II (Fillers)

Subconsciously dotting sentences with like, ums, and ya-know is common. But, when we do this, people consciously or unconsciously question our intelligence (thank you 1980's valley girls...) Recording yourself on a phone conversation will let you know how badly you fall into this habit. Or you can ask a trusted friend who will be honest with you. The way to fix the problem, breathe! Instead of "like" or "um", use that opportunity to take a breath to collect your thoughts instead of filling the silence with a sound. The pause will keep others from interrupting you when they think you are filling time with useless words. Instead, they will hang on to the words you say and not lose interest because valuable words are all that will come out.

Power of Please and Thank You

Simply, etiquette means treating others the same way you want to be treated. But learning etiquette rules can mean much more than this. Proper etiquette helps us identify with important emotions like empathy, sympathy, and compassion. When we are polite to others, we acknowledge that they are important and have the same feelings as we do. With this in mind, we will discuss the reasons why certain conventions of etiquette really help us identify with these emotions. PLEASE AND THANK YOU When you say "please", you acknowledge you are asking someone for something that you are not necessarily entitled to. It signals respcet and conveys you idnefity that person as at least an equal, rather than implying that he is a servant and required to do what you ask. In the same way, once the request is honored and fulfilled, saying thank you or writing a thank you note implies gratitude for the act. "Thank you" is derived from the word "think." You are basically saying "I will remember what you have done". So it important that adults show children these conventions. They will go a long way to help remove from us any sense of entitlement that rarely serves anyone well.

The Thank You Note

It is a lost art form - the handwritten note. We don't use it like our parents or grandparents did. I think that is ok that we don't do it the same way, but we cannot forget the sentiment. So what are the parts of a good thank you "note" (whether email, call, or text)? 1) Start with a greeting - "Dear Aunt ___" 2) Be specific - "Thank you so much for the ______ (flowers, gift, work, offer, etc.)." 3) Let the person know what that means to you or how you will use it - "It means so much that you would take the time to ____ or I cannot wait to use your gift in ______." 4) Restate the thanks - "Thank you again for your thoughtfulnes. I know I will remember your friendship each time I use your gift." 5) Sign off - " Love, ___" or "Best regards, ___" When do we send a "thank you"? Always!! You can never go wrong here. Make it automatic and sincere. If you are interested in whether to send after an interview or other networking event, my recommendation is yes. Not everyone sends these notes. It will make you stand out and let potential employers know you are a thoughtful person. So get to writing. And if you want to get some great personalized stationery to write your thank you's on, go to www.paper-source.com. There are a plethora of personalized options with them that will make sure all your notes hit just the right chord. Best, Marty Thompson Vice-President Manners Pro